


Falling slowly

by thegirlinthefandoms



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst and Fluff AF, Domestic Fluff, Episode VII Spoilers, F/M, Fluff as hell, Resistance, Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Freeform, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, spoiler warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-19 21:46:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5981944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlinthefandoms/pseuds/thegirlinthefandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some things people feel that should be said in the moment, but they think that maybe there will be a chance in another time. A chance to scream those things out loud. But maybe that "another time" never comes and the chance is lost. The hopes that comes with that "maybe" turn out in a dissapointment. And that's something that Kara and Poe had to learn in a really hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_"As midnight came, he named every star in the sky after her._  
_When he fell asleep, the moon sighed and smiled down at the girl resting her forehead against his._  
 _Perfect silver linings balanced on the edges of his nose, his chin, his mouth, every eyelash._  
 _And she knew. He was the most beautiful thing she’d ever see_."

 

\---

The night was dark as Kara sat out in its openness; the coolness of the air mixed with the silence that came with the night gave her an overwhelming feeling of calm. As she’s sat in the long grass, she looked up at the sky above D'qar and tried to not think about the work that had to be done the next day; and especially the girl tried to not let her mind drift to the First Order and how they were trying to blow them out of the galaxy forever.

Kara wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, but she was scared. When she thought of the threat upon them an overwhelming feeling of doom clouded her head, and made her chest tighten a little more each time. The brunette brushed back her dark hair as she remembered Poe’s teasing that she worried too much. He teased, but she could tell he did it to ease her fear. She saw it in his eyes that he was scared of what the First Order could do -and would- if they were given the chance.

Kara’s heart fluttered as her thoughts drifted to the pilot who she was proud to call her friend. He was everything that Kara thought made up a good man. Poe was by far the most loyal and unselfish person Kara had ever met, he was always willing to help where he was needed. He was friendly; always making sure everyone was included. And he was brave. His bravery bordered on reckless, which always made Kara’s stomach lurch, especially when everyone was gathered around and he told them about whatever foolish thing he had done.

Kara found her cheeks warming while she thought about how charming and handsome he was, not to mention sweet and noble. Often when Kara drifted to sleep she wondered if there was another man in the galaxy as amazing as Poe.

Poe always made sure to limit what he said around her, he knew she worried but the brunette couldn't help it, not after her history with the Empire.. When he’d catch her rolling her eyes while he spoke he’d tease her with a laugh telling her “Come on, you love me”. She’d always tease him back with her hand on his hip murmuring “With you gone, I’d have BB-8 all to myself” and she’d retort back, always making him smile that smile. Poe knew how much he meant to Kara, even if she will always joke saying that she loved BB-8 more than the pilot. The girl loved those two silly ones more than anything or anyone in the galaxy and she was happy to have Poe and the little droid in her life, even if sometimes they drove her crazy.

Hugging her knees against her chest, Kara looked at the night sky; the light from the stars and the moon illuminating the fields and everything reminded her of when she was just a kid back home on her old planet. A chill went up her back as she thought of her youth, the desire to travel around the galaxy, and how looking at those stars had always made her dream. Now when she looked at them, they reminded her of the best pilot of the Resistance and his dreamy brown eyes.

No longer did she long to leave home to see everything, not that there was a home for her to miss anymore, thanks to the First Order. Now when she thought of home, she thought of him. Wherever Poe was it was her home.

Kara closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, pushing all the negative thoughts from her mind, instead focusing on the stillness of the night. She was there to get fresh air, not to contemplate the problems of life. Not that the pilot was a problem; especially when sometimes he was the only one who could make her keep going –him and BB-8–, but sometimes it was hard to keep the thoughts away when they drifted in and out of her mind. He was her friend, but she was finding it harder and harder to think of him like that.

Sensing she wasn’t alone, Kara opened her eyes. What she saw when she opened them was a pair of legs. She craned her neck up and met him brown eyes. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing stilling out here all alone?” the man asked as he flopped down next to her, lounging in the grass as if he were laying in a bed. He propped himself up on an elbow and watched her carefully. “I just needed some air” she said shyly. She was very aware at how close he was to her, and her skin tingled along her leg where his legs touched hers. She focused her attention at looking at the moon, and not on him, but she still felt his eyes on hers.

They didn’t speak, but they didn’t need to, there was a feeling of familiarity of being around Poe that made Kara comfortable because it was never an awkward silence. Besides, just being by his side made her feel safe, even when they really weren't. “Where’s BB-8?” she asked looking around them. The brunette had been enjoying the closeness to Poe that she almost forgot about the small robot that followed him everywhere he went. “Sleeping, like you should be” Poe replied as he sat up and she could feel the hardness of his shoulder against hers. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be asleep?” the girl smiled.

Even when he smiled back at her Kara knew he had something on his mind. It was a little obvious why he was looking for her in the middle of the night. “Probably, but there’s something I want to talk to you about” the pilot spoke calm making Kara raise her eyebrow. “Couldn’t it wait until tomorrow? You need your sleep to work on your fighter tomorrow morning” she commented in a soft voice, resting her head against his shoulder. Poe hesitated, and chose his words carefully. “I’m not going to be here tomorrow” he finally said placing his head against hers.

The girl moved her head and body enough to look at him in the eyes. “Where are you going?” she asked, trying to keep herself calm. He hadn’t had anything scheduled for the week and she knew it, so this made her worry. "It’s not a big deal, Kee. General Leia had a mission that came up, and asked if I would do it” Poe answered, not giving her a lot of information. “What type of mission?” she questions again and the brunette could tell he was lying; she always could, especially because he was a really bad liar. But maybe it was also the fact that sometimes they would stare at each other’s eyes for a bit too long and that was why Poe could read her like an open book and she could tell when he wasn’t telling the truth. “I can’t tell you. I promise if I could I would tell you, but I swore I wouldn’t say anything. It’s for your own safety, Kee” Poe admitted, smiling sweetly at her.

Kara rested her head on his shoulder again so she could hide the fear on her face. She hated when he had to do that kind of things. She hated it even more when they won’t let her be in charge of monitoring where the pilot is when he’s out of the Base. “Are you going alone?” she asked softly, feeling Poe’s hand rub her back gently, and then held her around the waist. “Of course not. BB-8’s going to be with me” he joked trying to make her believe that he was going to be fine. “You know what I mean. Maybe I can come, to help” Kara murmured trying to convince him, even if the decision wasn’t in his power. “Sorry Princess, but it’s going to be just me. It’ll be easier if I go alone. We found something we can use against the First Order and we have to use whatever we can found. We are in a complicated time” he explained, placing a gentle kiss on her head. "I'm not a princess anymore, Dameron” she said softly but protesting like every time he called her like that. "Once a princess, always a princess. That’s how it works for me" he told her, taking her small hand and lacing their fingers together.

Kara looked at their hands resting there and she wished they do could be there forever, wished Poe didn't have to go so they could spent the rest of the night there and watch the sunset together and keep each other warm. “You’ll be careful, right?” Kara asked, more as a request and a wish. "I promise. And when I..." He stopped realizing it was better not to ask when he didn’t knew if he'd come back. Kara didn’t have enough fingers to count how many times he came back with bruises and small cuts in his face. "Forget it” he continued. “I'm going to be fine. I'll be back before you know it. Just a couple of days and that's all" he affirmed with that cocky, adorable and charming smile of his. The one that got him into so much trouble.

Kara remembered fondly that the first thing she loved about Poe was his smile, and almost five years later it was still the thing that made her feel better when she was having a bad day. Five years later she still wasn't over it and, in fact, she didn’t wanted to be over it at all. “We should go back. You must be frozen” Poe murmured softly after they sat a while longer there, just staring up at the sky.

She smiled and let him lead her back in, but as they got closer to her small room the realization that he was leaving sunk in. He kissed her on the forehead outside of her door and started to walk away, with Kara looking at him go. “Wait, Poe. Could you stay with me tonight?” she asked him. Her voice was soft, and she knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. She even stuck her bottom lip out for good measure. The brunette could always convince him to stay because he didn’t like to see her sad.

It wasn’t the first time they will sleep in the same room. The first time it happened it was when Poe found Kara having a nightmare and by that time they already had enough trust between them to do it. Besides she didn’t wanted to spend the night away from her best friend if he was going to a secret and dangerous mission the next morning. “Please?” the brunette begged and she knew what was going through his mind; that people might talk if someone saw Poe walking out of his best girl's room in the morning. It wasn’t his own reputation he worried about, it was hers. “C'mon, Poe, it's chilly and I need someone who keep my feet warm" Kara teased him, and he smiled. With that the girl knew she had him and he followed her into her room, muttering under his breath “Sometimes I just hate you, you know?” and Kara closed the door knowing that it wasn’t true. Not at all.


	2. Chapter 2

The Communication's room was a mess of people that morning, and not the normal kind of mess Kara was used to around her workplace. 

The girl couldn't hear what the General was telling to a group of soldiers, but their faces were serious and they all looked worried for something. With the First Order behind them normally they look worried if they have to go on a mission, even the easy ones, but this time she could tell something was different. 

A couple of soldiers looked at her as they pass by, but some looked straight to the floor, just like they were trying to avoid her gaze. Practically everybody knew who Kara was, especially since she was almost like a daughter for the General Organa and best friend of the best pilot of the Resistance; so they were acting weird for a reason. 

Normally the brunette will go and ask Poe for the news and he will say that it was no big deal and nothing to worry about -and he will probably go and tell her to talk when they were alone-, but he wasn't back, so her choice was to go and talk with the General even if the room was still full of people. 

“General? What's going on? Everything's fine?" the girl asked, standing next to the oldest woman. “Yes, Kara. Nothing of great importance” Leia said, forming a smile on her face as looked at Kara. “You are sending troupes somewhere and it's not important?” the brunette inquired, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. After all those years of living and working with Leia she just could see when she was lying. 

The General placed her right hand on Kara's forearm and make her walk to a side of the room near a couple of empty chairs and computers and the woman spoke just after the brown-eyed girl sat down. “I didn't wanted to worry you until we know what happened, but we don't know where's Dameron” Organa explained, sounding calm and talking slow so Kara could process the words on her head. 

In that second Kara felt like if the world slowed down and if the General didn't made her take sit she will be on the floor. It was like everything started to spin around and someone placed a pile of bricks against her chest and her lungs. That was why everyone was looking at her different or avoid her at all, they all knew that Poe was lost. “What? You... How you can't possibly know? You send him on that mission; you were supposed to know...” Kara murmured, the words coming out of her mouth slowly because she couldn't find the words to say. “He's not where he was supposed to be. He should be back by now, but we can't contact with him or his X-Wing” the lady said, and the brunette was sure Leia was trying to talk to her more like mother-daughter than General-Commander. After all, the girl knew that also Poe was like a son for Leia. “Where he was suppose to be?” Kara asked, trying to control herself. Getting mad at the woman who was like her mother wasn't a good idea. “Tuanul” Organa murmured, almost as she was ashamed of saying it. “You send him to Jakku alone?” Kara required. She hated Jakku. It was desert, sand literally everywhere, hot, desolate and you could spend hours and even days walking before finding civilization or something like that. Poe would always say she hated that kind of places because she was a princess and she wasn’t used to be in the sand and sometimes Kara thought he was right.

The Commander could felt how a lump was forming and closing her throat, her brown eyes were watering, and she felt like someone was ripping her heart from her chest, leaving her bloody and wounded. Kara closed her eyes because maybe, if she was lucky, she will open them and see her boy laying beside her with BB-8 at their side. She closed them, but all Kara could feel was pain, sorrows and her tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Poe couldn't be dead. He simply couldn't. He was her boy. He was her best friend, confident and her family. He was like a ray of sunshine in the middle of the darkness the First Order was placing upon them. Poe never broke a promise he made. Everytime he promise he will come back he did. Poe couldn't just die and leave her alone. He couldn't die when she had so many things to tell him. 

Taking a deep breath, Kara opened her eyes and stand up from the chair as she cleaned the wattered cheeks and eyes. "General, you are like a mother for me, why weren't you going to tell me that Poe is nowhere to be found? You always said you know how much Poe means to me..." she breathed, trying to talk even when her throat was dry and hurting. "If you know that, then send me with them” she finished, pointing to the soldiers who were left in the room, wanting to receive the last orders before they get to the awful planet. When her General didn’t say anything –and Kara knew her enough to know she was thinking- she didn’t got another choice than keep talking. “Ma'am, I'm talking to you not like my General but like the woman who took care of me like a mother; I'll go with them or I'll go there on my own and if I can't find Poe I'm going to search in the whole galaxy until I get him back home with me. This is about my best friend and the man I love, so it's your choice, General. You'll decide which way I'm going" she affirmed, trying to stand tall even when she felt like the weight of the galaxy was in her shoulders.

As she was waiting for an answer, the girl thought for a second in the possibilities of going alone after him. Kara learned how to fight, how to shoot a couple of blasters and how to fly a X-Wing, so she could survive some days searching for her boy and BB-8. She could do it for some time, but at some moment she would probably be killed. Kara was fine with that as long as she could be with Poe. If he was dead then dying couldn't be so bad, much less if she was taken down fighting for him.

Poe was a part of her. Since they met in the Echo of Hope when Poe joined the Resistance they became part of each other lives and after all those years she had no idea how to change things, especially because Kara didn't wanted to change it. Losing Poe wasn't even an option for her. Besides they had so many things to do together; so many planets to see. If he was gone who was going to hold her, brush her tangled brown hair to a side and whisper that everything was going to be fine while staring deep into her eyes? 

She remembered that, when she was a kid, her mother told her that love was one of the strongest and amazing forces, but sometimes even that wasn't enough. Maybe that time it wasn’t enough to defeat destiny.

Feeling like a little scare girl –just like when she ran from home– and not knowing what Organa was going to say, Kara let herself turn just for a second in the twenty six years old that she was and not in the Commander working for the Resistance and fighting against the First Order, so she walked two steps and hugged the woman who took care of her when nobody did, just like the first time Leia took the brunette under her watch. "I just want my flyboy back, Leia” Kara cried in her shoulder, just like a daughter would have done with her mother. "I know, my darling. You can go with them, just be careful" the woman said, taking a step back and cleaning the tears of Kara’s face and kissing her cheek. And just like that, with her General’ approval, Kara walked out of the room to get ready knowing one thing: She had no idea how she would go on when the only reason she had to keep fighting didn't exist anymore.


End file.
